It’s so easy to give into pride and falsehoods. It’s easier to fear than to hope. But take courage, dear heart. Lamentations 3:55-57.
Poem 210 of 365 –
The world has finally ceased to spin
And I am left with unrest within
Flashing colours, vibrant sounds
Waves of commotion, warning to drown
Me.
All this time
I never realized
The outbursts and curse words
The teary eyes and blistered lies
Weren’t external, they were always inside.
And now it’s raining in my room
Rivulets from the ceiling
Tell me I’m not worth keeping
And I’m so close to believing
The drip-drops that echo my fears
That God hates rain, so he won’t be here
For me
When the claws of panic,
Anxiety
Curl around my throat
I struggle to breathe
Struggle to believe
That you’ll be here for me
With my last breath
I gasp one word,
“Please,”
And hope that through the rain
Running down my walls
Through the water rising
In these rotting halls
Through my doubt that
You can’t hear me when I call
I hope you’re near me after all.
~ Essie